'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
