dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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