i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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