this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
