Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
