how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
