Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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