She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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