i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
