so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
