The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
