it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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