So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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