Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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