I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
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