i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
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