he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
