a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
