I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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