Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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