i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
