my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
