According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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