Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Randomize
