im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
