What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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