and you said cock pushups were impossible
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
