I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
