Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
