Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
