you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Randomize
