Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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