walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
