I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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