He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize