Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
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