My brain says no but my pants say off.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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