What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
