its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
