all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
