Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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