i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
