dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
