Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize