my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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