he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
