I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
