..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
