Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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