We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I need water and some morals
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
