Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
