porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
