He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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