How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
She told me I should be a condom model.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
