Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
