Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize