eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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