If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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