i really wish james franco would like my vagina
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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