More tranny stories later!
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
