guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
