I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize