Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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